i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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