i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
