Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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