Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
