There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize