people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize