on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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