sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize