No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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