Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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