DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
