Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
