When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
