thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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