i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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