I haven't been this sober since birth.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
