Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize