This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
