He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
