Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
