Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
