is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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