i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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