duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
