i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
