Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
