You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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