The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize