I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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