I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
