therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
