It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
