Pants 0. Shit 1.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
tell me about the eggs
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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