Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
