God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
