What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
