I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
