the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
