I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
