oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
