no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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