This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
