my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
