Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
