it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I love you. Go after that dick
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
