Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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