Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
