return my video game
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
