'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize