Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
