Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's like iHOP with fire
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I die, sorry about rent.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize