She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
