Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dear god my vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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