I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
