Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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