My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize