Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just gargled with NyQuil
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
