Those balls look pretty dangerous.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
