just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
