Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
