Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
did i just pee glitter
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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